i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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