I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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