Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
