That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
