Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
