Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
