i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
