Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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