C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
