we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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