I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
