new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
