it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
