Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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