I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
