you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
well you can't waste a boner
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize