I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
