never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
