Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
