No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
