Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Bring me that man meat
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize