I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
