Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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