i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
