I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
