We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
