I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
