I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
