I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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