Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
