What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
