I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
