omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
