so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
