I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
