We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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