This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
