Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize