What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
