oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
