Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You ate ashes out of my bong
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize