I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
