chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
