I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
