i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
