halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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