bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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