No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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