you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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