I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
