weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
love makes seman taste better
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
