I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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