I think i peed on brittanys purse
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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