do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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