We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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