I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
