Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
