You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
