mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
is it fun? or sober?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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