Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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