dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
