but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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