but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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