Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
