Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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