remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
