my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Your penis caused this!
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