found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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