this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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