i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
