So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize